Goose What?

J: (pointing to his legs) What are these?
Me: Those are goose bumps. They show up on your skin when you're cold.

About one hour later J is curled up on the couch trying to get warm...

C: You must be cold, J.
J: Yeah, that's because I have duck rolls.

J Love

J was drawing a very elaborate "jellybean" picture (think lots and lots of colorful circles). Without asking if it was okay S added a jellybean. I don't know how the average kid handles uninvited contributions to their masterpieces. In our house neither S nor C would tolerate this from anyone. They would have a crying meltdown or yell in anger, respectively. (I love them both fiercely, no less.)

On the other hand, here's the kind of joyful surprise we get from J: When he saw what S was doing to his picture he said, word for word,

"Aw, that was really nice of you!"

Doesn't that make you warm and fuzzy all over?

Schooled

Knock down, drag out quarrels are common in our home. We are raising three strong, active, mischievous boys who also happen to be extremely sensitive. Big emotions run rampant, which means little boy altercations are often high drama on every front you could possibly imagine. There's hitting, punching, kicking... There's yelling, screaming, crying, sobbing, sulking... We are blessed and grateful for these boys who are living so confidently with both their physical and emotional powers simultaneously. It also makes for some interesting discussions and revelations.

Altercation of the Day Synopsis:

S thought J was "playing on a joke on him". So he got angry and set out to physically hurt J. C intervened and ended up hurting S who cried like his arm was ripped from his body. After five-ish minutes of quiet-time-in-separate-chairs (mom's special recipe time-out-for-three-kids-when-you-don't-know-yet-who-did-what-to-whom) they were calm enough to each take a moment to have their say. In the end it was clear that J had not set out to play a trick on S. S merely thought this was the case. C (being the big brother who likes to dispense justice based on his own notions of right and wrong) protected J from what he deemed to be S's erroneously placed retaliation.

Mom set out to have a discussion with C along these lines:

"Sometimes you have to let disagreements that don't involve you (even ones bordering on physical altercations) play out on their own and without getting involved."

Instead, mom got a lesson from C.

------------------------------------------------------------------

C: But S was going to hurt him (J).
Mom: Perhaps. But in the end, instead of J being hurt by S, S was hurt by you. And now you're the one getting the heat for hurting someone and S (who had intention to harm) is off the hook.
C: (long, silent pause) But mom, I really like J. He's so nice to me. He always does stuff for me. I guess I would rather be in trouble for hurting S than let S hurt J.
Mom: (tears, heart nearly bursting from pride) Okay. Fair enough. I love you buddy.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

J and C then spent some time hugging. S spent some time sulking because, well, frankly, with three boys with big emotions there is almost always someone sulking. Mom reflected on the noble actions of her fristborn. And that is how mom got schooled.

Tutu

We had a playdate last weekend with my best friend and her 4 year-old daughter, "O". In the midst of a frenzied and joyful session of dress-up J noticed that O's pink ruffled skirt was poking out the back of her costume. Helpful as ever J told her "your ballerina is sticking out!".

Sweet, sweet J

J was getting geared up for a trip to the movies with Gramma and Poppa. One he realized I wasn't going along he said he'd miss me and after a long pause said

"You'll have to show me how to get there"

Later, while at the movie theater, a young man with a mowhawk made a sort of pre-movie announcement to the audience and J commented to Poppa

"That's a strange human being!"

He thoroughly enjoyed the movie and his time with Gramma and Poppa. He sat between them and since Poppa held the popcorn he ensured that Gramma did not run out. Such a kind, considerate, sweet little boy!

A Post About Boy Bits

J (with both hands down the front of his pants): Dad, I have two freckles! I mean no, I mean, what are these things called again?

Reader, if you are unclear still to what J was referring here are two hints:

S calls them his Special Eggs and J got one thing right - they end with a "cle".

Camel

The name of the Principal at the boys' school is Mr. Campbell. J and S call him Mr. Camel which is interesting because they call camels canimals.

Any one of my three boys: Wipe my buuuuuuuuuuuutt!!!!!!!!!!!

My husband or I: How do you ask?!

Any one of my three boys: Pleeeeeease, wipe my buuuuuuuuuuuutt!!!!!!!!!!!

"I'm Gonna Tell Big Brother On You!"

S: J is putting that in his mouth!

(silence)
(no response)

S: C! J is putting that toy in his mouth!!!

(C looks up from the game he is playing to glance over at S who is pointing at J looking guilty)

C: That's okay. Sometimes I put that toy in my mouth too.

(Mom laughs at the entire exchange especially the older brother's sure response.)
(Mom's heart and is warm and fuzzy over the dynamic between younger and older brothers.)

Who is God?

S: God is a T Rex.

J: Who is god?

S: You know god! He's everywhere!

Buffy 1997-ish - 1/31/2011

Last night we laid to rest our sweet girl Buffy. She was a beautiful cat. Now her beautiful spirit is free from the constraints her bodily life had placed on her.

She loved to go outside and act like a "real" cat; stalking, hunting, prowling.
She made that funny noise that cats make when they watch birds from the window.
She loved looking out the window on car rides even though she was scared as heck.
She loved to let Brother Bert clean and clean and clean and clean her.
She had an amazing purr that I hope I can conjure in my brain's ear forever - so deep, loud and constant.
Sometimes her purr was so enthusiastic that it crept into her vocal chords like some sort of meow and she sounded like a pigeon which is how she got her nickname Pigeon.
In the last few years she liked to be carried around by me. While I scratched her chin, scruff and ears she would hang her paws over the crook of my arm and purr like crazy.

As Don says her spirit is now "in the Happy Mousing Fields".
As C says her "body stayed at the vet but her spirit went to Heaven".
I'd like to think her happy spirit followed us home but I haven't felt her - yet. I think for now she's off enjoying her freedom and figuring out what's next.

Sweet girl,

We miss you, we love you and we know you're the happiest you've been in a very long time.

Love,
mom, dad, C, J and S
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The boys were with Don and I and Buffy when she went. As Don and I talked to the doctor and eachother and I cried prior to putting her to sleep the boys were loud-ish, all over eachother-ish and all over the exam room-ish. It was chaos-as-usual. That's our life, that was Buffy's life. Life is life is life... We saw no reason to send her off in any way other than the way she lived.

In past office visits I would put Buffy on the table and her body would tense up and she would bury her head in my hands hiding from the doctor. This time I held her while we waited in the exam room for the doctor. Then Don held her while we talked and agonized over the decision with the doctor (and the kids climbed the walls). She was purring and relaxed the whole time. When we put her on the table and the doctor shaved her paw she stopped purring but simply laid quietly without tension and without her head in my hands. While the doctor gave her the anesthesia that literally made her fall asleep I kissed her tiny head and scruff and scratched her neck and Don and the boys petted her body. Buffy laid her head down on her front paws without a sound. It took a matter of seconds for the second, lethal injection to stop her organs. Don and I both cried. The boys talked to the doctor about what they thought Buffy was dreaming about. The doctor left us with her for a few minutes. We all petted her some more, the boys checked out various parts of her body and had strange conversations about what it meant to be "dead" and then we said goodbye.

It was a difficult decision but peaceful experience for all of us, especially Buffy, our little Pigeon.

January

(Happy New Year!)

Fever,
sick.
Fever, fever,
sick, sick.
Fever, fever, fever.
Sick, sick, sick.
Fever, fever
sick, sick.
Fever,
sick,
snow.

Snow, snow, snow, snow
shovel, shovel, snow.
Snow, snow, snow, snow
shovel, shovel snow.

What time is it in China?
When will Daddy call?
What time is it in China?
When will Daddy call?
What time is it in China?
When will Da-

Ni Hao, Daddy!
I love you.
Ni Hao, Daddy!
I love you.
Ni Hao, Daddy!
I love you.
Ni Hao, Honey.
I miss you.

Snow, snow, snow, snow
shovel, shovel, snow.

Fever,
sick.
Fever, fever,
sick, sick.
Fever, fever, fever.
Sick, sick, sick.
Fever, fever
sick, sick.
Fever,
sick,
snow.

Snow, snow, snow, snow
shovel, shovel, snow.
Snow, snow, snow, snow
shovel, shovel, snow.
Snow, snow, snow, snow
shovel, shovel, snow.
(Euthanize the cat.)
Snow.
Snow.
Snow.

Hatching Pistachios

J and S love pistachios in the shell. They enjoy shelling them by themselves butoccasionally need help. The other day J handed a tough one over to me and said

"Will you hatch this one for me mom?"

So cute.

Just Saying

This is how the cutting board on the kitchen counter looks. No joke.

Today I am grateful for:

Access to medicine to help heal my family
Access to health care to help heal my family
Access to health insurance coverage to pay for health care and medicine to help heal my family

My husband works for a company that pays for our health insurance. So today I am also grateful for the health of my husband which allows him to work - which is a little bit scary.

The average cost to the uninsured for addressing and treating the recent illness in our family would have been approximately $675.

Cost breakdown according to my crude research (google searches):

Four urgent care visits - $400
Three ten-day Amoxicillin prescriptions - $150
One Predisolone prescription - $45
Sixty-count liquid Albuterol nebulizer treatments - $50
One nebulizer - $30

If we had to pay this $675 out of pocket we would be defaulting on our mortgage. If we had mediocre coverage that paid, say half of this $675 we would be getting our groceries at Second Harvest. Sure, we don't have to live in a 1700 square foot home. And there's no shame in shopping at Second Harvest; I'm proud but not that kind of proud. But, I don't know of any apartments big enough for our family that cost a lot less than our mortgage and I'm not sure Second Harvest was intended for use by the middle class. Just saying.

To Health!

Seven days after the first child stayed home from school and I think we are on our way back to health in our house. S went to the doctor Friday evening at 7:00 pm, approximately 45 minutes after his first complaint of ear pain (yes I was on the phone upon hearing that complaint like flies on poop). He came home with antibiotics for an ear infection and Albuterol and Prednisolone for Croup. I took J in today (Monday) because he's been running a fever every single night since last Wednesday. Diagnosis: ear infection. Treatment: antibiotics. C is on the mend; coughing like crazy, but otherwise well.

Phew.

The last two days have been the most challenging of this bout of illness. There's nothing like three boys, ages five and under, recovering from days upon days of sickness-induced lethargy who have rediscovered their vigor in an unkempt sickhouse in the dead of winter. There's also nothing like being their mom who got used to their lethargy and sort of forgot about their usual zest... These boys are not easing back into their antics and general bouncing-off-the-walls shenanigans - their play is full force. And, of course, their crashes are hard and dramatic: whining, crying, fighting... They're sick of being sick, well enough for occasional rowdiness but not quite well enough to return to school - or are they?

For the past week I have gladly ignored all regular household jobs that weren't absolutely urgent (i.e. the mortgage payment) so that I could curl up under mounds of blankets with my "babies" while they are still young enough to desperately need me. Now that we are in this transition phase (a/k/a well enough to get into trouble) we are cuddling less and I'm noticing more everything that was neglected for the past week. The playroom floor is covered in blankets, pillows, pajamas and oh-so-many crumbs (because who makes their sick kids sit at the table to eat?). The laundry I had just caught up on that I "forgot" to do over the holidays (ten loads) is piling up again and the powder room smells like a urinal because apparently sick, little boys have even worse aim than healthy ones. The bedding needs changing, the pantry needs stocking, the cat needs brushing my belly fat needs crunching...

Tomorrow I say farewell to this illness as I gently nudge my boys back out into the world. I'll be washing things, tidying things, getting ducks in a row and putting one foot in front of the other once again. I'll miss hunkering down in pajamas under mounds of blankets but it's good to be out of the woods.

Where Exactly is God?

S to J:

"God is in the TV"

J to S:

"No, God is in we're (our) brain"

our kids love talking about "god" even though we don't go to church or subscribe to (or indoctrinate them in) particular religion(s). I think they are just naturally curious and spiritual!