Schooled

Knock down, drag out quarrels are common in our home. We are raising three strong, active, mischievous boys who also happen to be extremely sensitive. Big emotions run rampant, which means little boy altercations are often high drama on every front you could possibly imagine. There's hitting, punching, kicking... There's yelling, screaming, crying, sobbing, sulking... We are blessed and grateful for these boys who are living so confidently with both their physical and emotional powers simultaneously. It also makes for some interesting discussions and revelations.

Altercation of the Day Synopsis:

S thought J was "playing on a joke on him". So he got angry and set out to physically hurt J. C intervened and ended up hurting S who cried like his arm was ripped from his body. After five-ish minutes of quiet-time-in-separate-chairs (mom's special recipe time-out-for-three-kids-when-you-don't-know-yet-who-did-what-to-whom) they were calm enough to each take a moment to have their say. In the end it was clear that J had not set out to play a trick on S. S merely thought this was the case. C (being the big brother who likes to dispense justice based on his own notions of right and wrong) protected J from what he deemed to be S's erroneously placed retaliation.

Mom set out to have a discussion with C along these lines:

"Sometimes you have to let disagreements that don't involve you (even ones bordering on physical altercations) play out on their own and without getting involved."

Instead, mom got a lesson from C.

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C: But S was going to hurt him (J).
Mom: Perhaps. But in the end, instead of J being hurt by S, S was hurt by you. And now you're the one getting the heat for hurting someone and S (who had intention to harm) is off the hook.
C: (long, silent pause) But mom, I really like J. He's so nice to me. He always does stuff for me. I guess I would rather be in trouble for hurting S than let S hurt J.
Mom: (tears, heart nearly bursting from pride) Okay. Fair enough. I love you buddy.

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J and C then spent some time hugging. S spent some time sulking because, well, frankly, with three boys with big emotions there is almost always someone sulking. Mom reflected on the noble actions of her fristborn. And that is how mom got schooled.

Tutu

We had a playdate last weekend with my best friend and her 4 year-old daughter, "O". In the midst of a frenzied and joyful session of dress-up J noticed that O's pink ruffled skirt was poking out the back of her costume. Helpful as ever J told her "your ballerina is sticking out!".