Sam's Future As a Mommy

As I mentioned in a previous post, the boys and I often chat about my experience of having been pregnant with each of them, as well as the stories of their births and the first few days of their lives.  They've always known they were born via C-section, but today they were particularly concerned with the surgical procedure.  They had questions.

"Where is the hole the doctor cut?"
"How did it close?"
"Did it hurt?"
"How could it not hurt?"
"How could you be awake and not feel it hurting?"

I explained the spinal block; where the shot goes, how it works to numb the body but allow one to stay awake.  Then I explained stitches, or, in my case, staples.  Sammy became quite agitated at this point.  The blood drained from his face and he got teary-eyed.  I thought he was worried about me, so I reassured him that it did not hurt and that the staples are, in fact, gone.  It turns out he was scared for himself because, in his words

"I want to be a mommy when I grow up and I don't want anybody to staple my tummy".

Sam has been expressing his desire to be a mommy when he grows up for a good couple of years now.  Charlie (ever the logical realist) keeps trying to "school" Sam in the impossibility of this.  Sam (ever the wanderer and keeper of his very own reality) continues to make plans for future mommy-hood.

Memories

I lost our small video camera somewhere en route to our Disney World vacation and was pretty upset about it.  The camera itself was inexpensive, and neither Don or I were too broken up with respect to its monetary value.  However, it had a two minute video of us waking the kids at 4:30 AM that was just so precious and special.  In addition, I had had big plans for taking lots of videos on vacation so I was pretty bummed about the loss of those would-be videos.  We managed to take some videos on our camera, but there was a mere 14 minutes worth of available video space (over 9 days) versus the hour that was available on the video camera.  I was sad and disappointed that we wouldn't be able to capture as much on video as I had anticipated.  While I was in the process of trying to accept the loss C had this to say:

It's okay mom.  The memories are what really matters.

Light Saber Duel-ese

J: My death is your death!

C: Enough with the silly talk! Game on!

Adjustments

J (to C): No, don't break it! Don't break it!

C (to J): I'm not going ot break it. I'm just going to make some adjustments...

Dead is Dead

Talking with C today about embalming, cremation and mummification and the conversation turned to "life after death". We've discussed this many times and I took my usual stance (that our bodies are merely vessels for our spirits which I believe to be our true selves and essences...)

C: Mom, I've been thinking about this for a long time now and I'm pretty sure dead is dead.
Me: You really think so?
C: Yeah, I just don't see how a spirit can think.
Me: Maybe spirits don't think but still exist.

(silence)

Me: Maybe we can just agree to disagree.
C: Yep.

Goose What?

J: (pointing to his legs) What are these?
Me: Those are goose bumps. They show up on your skin when you're cold.

About one hour later J is curled up on the couch trying to get warm...

C: You must be cold, J.
J: Yeah, that's because I have duck rolls.

Schooled

Knock down, drag out quarrels are common in our home. We are raising three strong, active, mischievous boys who also happen to be extremely sensitive. Big emotions run rampant, which means little boy altercations are often high drama on every front you could possibly imagine. There's hitting, punching, kicking... There's yelling, screaming, crying, sobbing, sulking... We are blessed and grateful for these boys who are living so confidently with both their physical and emotional powers simultaneously. It also makes for some interesting discussions and revelations.

Altercation of the Day Synopsis:

S thought J was "playing on a joke on him". So he got angry and set out to physically hurt J. C intervened and ended up hurting S who cried like his arm was ripped from his body. After five-ish minutes of quiet-time-in-separate-chairs (mom's special recipe time-out-for-three-kids-when-you-don't-know-yet-who-did-what-to-whom) they were calm enough to each take a moment to have their say. In the end it was clear that J had not set out to play a trick on S. S merely thought this was the case. C (being the big brother who likes to dispense justice based on his own notions of right and wrong) protected J from what he deemed to be S's erroneously placed retaliation.

Mom set out to have a discussion with C along these lines:

"Sometimes you have to let disagreements that don't involve you (even ones bordering on physical altercations) play out on their own and without getting involved."

Instead, mom got a lesson from C.

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C: But S was going to hurt him (J).
Mom: Perhaps. But in the end, instead of J being hurt by S, S was hurt by you. And now you're the one getting the heat for hurting someone and S (who had intention to harm) is off the hook.
C: (long, silent pause) But mom, I really like J. He's so nice to me. He always does stuff for me. I guess I would rather be in trouble for hurting S than let S hurt J.
Mom: (tears, heart nearly bursting from pride) Okay. Fair enough. I love you buddy.

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J and C then spent some time hugging. S spent some time sulking because, well, frankly, with three boys with big emotions there is almost always someone sulking. Mom reflected on the noble actions of her fristborn. And that is how mom got schooled.

"I'm Gonna Tell Big Brother On You!"

S: J is putting that in his mouth!

(silence)
(no response)

S: C! J is putting that toy in his mouth!!!

(C looks up from the game he is playing to glance over at S who is pointing at J looking guilty)

C: That's okay. Sometimes I put that toy in my mouth too.

(Mom laughs at the entire exchange especially the older brother's sure response.)
(Mom's heart and is warm and fuzzy over the dynamic between younger and older brothers.)

How Do You Spell Book?

S: Blue, how do you spell book?

C: B-O-O-K

S: B-O-Y-K. No, that's not really straight.

J: Yes it is really straight!

What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?

C: I want to be an author and illustrator, but when I'm eighteen I want to drive a city bus.

J: I gonna be a superhero! I'm gonna be Spiderman!!!

S: (raises him arms in a circle above his head) I'm gonna be a O!

One Step at a Time & Go Fish!

C playing with a one-legged army man, making him hop along the ground:

"One step at a time"

"Get it?"

S playing Go Fish with mommy against C:

Mom: S, C wants to know if we have a 5. Do we have a 5?
S: Nope.
Mom: So what do you say to C?
S: October!

Angel Boy

Yesterday, after a brisk walk up a hill, C was holding onto his chest with both hands. I asked him if he was okay. His answer:

"I'm feeling god in my heart when it beats."

We are not a religious family; we don't go to church. C did go to a neighborhood preschool sponsored by a Lutheran Church and, as such, the class did receive bible stories each Monday. As we are not atheists either we figured the lessons couldn't hurt. Monday bible stories was one of his favorite times at school. I have always talked with C about "god"/the universe/spirituality on my level and from my perspective because I don't have any other way to talk about "it". He has always understood: I think he understood before he was even here with us. His Gramma S calls him Angel Boy. For certain, he is an angel walking the earth.