The Tin Can Top

“The modern can opener, with a cutting wheel that rolls around the rim, was invented by William Lyman of the United States in 1870. The only change from the original patent was the introduction of a serrated rotation wheel by the Star Can Company of San Francisco in 1925. The basic principle continues to be used on the modern can openers, and it was the basis of the first electric can opener, introduced in December 1931. Pull-open cans, patented by Ermal Fraze of Ohio, debuted in 1966.” (http://www.ideafinder.com/history/inventions/canopener.htm).

If you are like me you own a basic, non-electric can opener. Also like me, when opening a tin can you may leave the newly-sharp top hanging by a thread, thus avoiding the challenge of finding an effective, and hopefully safe, manner of fishing it out of the food in the can (i.e. your fingers, a knife, a fork, your teeth, a crochet hook…). If this rings true, then you, like me, soon find yourself coaxing the sharp, jagged, circular top away from its almost equally sharp and jagged, cylindrical counterpart.

On the other hand, you may be a bit fancier in the kitchen. You may have an electric can opener; a nifty invention that takes the entire top off and holds onto it with a little magnet. Not only does this allow you to avoid the challenge of choosing an effective, and hopefully safe, manner of fishing it out of the food in the can, but neither do you find yourself having to coax the two menacing parts away from each other.

Pretty soon I’m going to be fancy in the kitchen with a nifty electric can opener. I’ve heard that if you open a tin can the old-fashioned way (not like a cowboy, whose tin can opening techniques are unknown to me but must certainly involve spurs and a revolver - but rather with a non-electric, manual can opener with a cutting wheel that rolls around the rim…) and if you make subsequent, dangerous decisions regarding the removal of the tin can top from its counterpart, bad and painful things could happen to you. I’ve heard that the sharp, jagged, nasty little tin can top can slice your very flesh open. Maybe even your left thumb. It’s true. It could hurt and bleed too. There’s also a good chance that you could this during dinner preparations for a family of five, which includes three hungry boys of preschool age. Then you won’t have any dinner to offer them. What you will have to offer is what I can only assume would be a rather frightening sight of a bleeding parent, jumping up and down saying “Ow, ow, ow, this really hurts” and the other parent looking at the gaping wound saying “yep, we better go get stitches”. Then you may have to find care for your kids so your spouse can drive you to Urgent Care because, after all, driving yourself would likely prove to be a bit of a challenge. At Urgent Care you may be in store for an overdue Tetanus shot, as well as some Novocain shots that hurt much more than the ones you get in your mouth before a filling and even hurt more than the Tetanus shot, and lastly, a few stitches.

I’m not saying at all that any of this happened to me. I’m just saying I’ve heard some things and have been thinking about it lately. I'm going to buy an electric can opener.